All I Want for Christmas Is Rest: The Hidden Burnout Crisis Behind the Festive Cheer
3:47am. Again.
My daughter had cried out in her sleep—nothing serious, just a momentary sound before she settled back down. But my heart was already racing and my mind had started the avalanche.
Have I replied to that friend? What am I taking to Christmas brunch number three? What will my son wear for the concert? Did I send the cards overseas in time? When are final numbers due for the birthday party? Are the windows being replaced tomorrow or Thursday? What time is the dog groomer coming?
On and on it went, each item triggering three more. The thread running through all of it: I'm going to forget something. There's too much to do. Everything depends on me.
I recently wrote about what happened next—how my husband and I made the deliberate choice to dial back to 60% for one week, how my nervous system finally got the message that we weren't trying to do the impossible anymore, how the tightness in my chest released when I stopped layering perfectionism on top of genuine overwhelm.
It worked. The 3am wake-ups stopped. My body settled. I caught it in time.
But here's what's been weighing on me since … I'm seeing so many women in my community—clients, readers, friends—who aren't catching it in time. Who are pushing through December with the same "just make it to January" story I almost told myself. Who are showing up with symptoms that go beyond strategic capacity management and into territory that genuinely worries me.
This piece isn't about my burnout, because I intervened before I got there. This is about what I'm seeing in the women around me, and what I wish someone had told them before December became the month that broke what's been slowly cracking all year.
The Season That Exposes What's Been Building
I guess what I’m saying is this: December doesn't cause burnout. It reveals it.
All year, high-achieving women like you have been running at 110%. Saying yes to everything. Being the capable one. Managing impossible logistics. Ignoring warning signs, the exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix, the irritability that seems out of proportion, the sense that everything takes more effort than it should.
And then December arrives with its additional layer upon layer of demands. The gatherings, the gift-giving, the family dynamics, the expectation of seasonal style and festive cheer. And suddenly, systems that were barely holding up collapse entirely.
The data is stark. Research shows that 82% of employees are at risk of burnout in 2024, with women experiencing it at significantly higher rates than men: 46% compared to 37%. Working mothers account for 69% of stress-related work absences. This isn't about weakness. This is about operating systems that were never designed to handle the load we're carrying—and December is when those systems finally crash.
But here's what breaks my heart: so many women don't recognise what's happening until they're already deep in it. They think they're just tired. They think they're not managing well enough. They think everyone else is handling it better. And they tell themselves: "Just make it to January. Then I'll rest."
Your Nervous System Doesn't Work on a Calendar
When I experienced those 3am wake-ups, I recognised them as warning signs. My body trying to protect me. An alert that I was approaching my limits and needed to make different choices.
I was lucky. I caught it early enough that strategic underperformance—my 60% week—actually worked.
But I've been talking to women whose symptoms sound different. Whose bodies have been sending warning signals for months that they've been overriding. Who are so far past "approaching limits" that they're in genuine physiological crisis.
Dr. Amy Arnsten's research at Yale shows what happens when chronic stress goes unaddressed: your prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, patience—goes offline. Your hippocampus (memory center) literally shrinks. Your cortisol stays elevated, brilliant for short-term danger but devastating as a baseline state.
This is why you are forgetting things constantly, losing words, feeling foggy like your brain isn't working properly. Why you can't sleep even when you're exhausted. Why small inconveniences become catastrophes. Not because you're failing, but because your brain is under siege.
And the dangerous part is you've all internalised this narrative that you just need to push through to January. That the holiday break will fix everything. That once the new year hits, you'll rest, reset, refresh. Pick a new word or direction and move on.
But here's what I need you to understand: if you're already burned out, January won't save you.
The January Reset Myth
I keep hearing this: "I just need to make it to Christmas." "Once the holidays are over, I'll be fine." "January is my reset."
But burnout doesn't quite work like that. It doesn't reset with a date change. It doesn't fix itself with a week off.
Here's what the research actually tells us: when you're experiencing genuine burnout—not just exhaustion, but actual physiological dysregulation—your nervous system needs more than time off. It needs intervention.
A long weekend won't undo months of operating beyond capacity. A holiday break won't repair a system that's been in crisis mode. And arriving at January burned out means you're starting the new year from a deficit, not a fresh slate.
Here's what actually happens when you push through December while burned out:
January exhaustion: You're too depleted to implement any of those optimistic resolutions. The "fresh start" feels impossible because you're starting from empty.
Longer recovery: What could be addressed now with structural changes requires months of repair if you wait. Burnout that's ignored doesn't disappear—it compounds.
Health consequences: Chronic stress suppresses your immune system. Push through December and you'll likely spend January sick. Your body will force the rest you wouldn't voluntarily take.
Lost presence: You'll miss the actual holidays while white-knuckling your way to the finish line. Your children won't remember the decorations. They'll remember whether you were actually there.
The myth of the January reset keeps women pushing beyond what their bodies can handle. And by the time January arrives, they're not resetting—they're collapsing.
How to Tell Where You Actually Are
Not all exhaustion is burnout. And this distinction matters because the intervention is different.
When my body started sending signals—the 3am wake-ups, the racing heart, the sense of overwhelm—I was in the warning zone. Approaching my limits but not past them. Strategic capacity management (like my 60% week) could still work.
But some of you reading this are past that point. You're not approaching burnout—you're in it. And you need to know the difference.
You're in the warning zone if:
You're exhausted at the end of the day, but sleep still helps
A weekend off feels restorative
You can still access joy and pleasure, even if you're running low on energy
You're functioning at lower capacity, but you can still function
You believe that time off will help
You catch yourself before you snap at people you love
The load is high but you can still see it clearly
What helps? Strategic capacity management. Dialing back to 60%. Releasing the perfectionism layer. Saying no. Protecting sleep. This is territory where structural changes in how you operate can actually work.
You're past the warning zone if:
Sleep doesn't help anymore—you wake up as tired as when you went to bed
You're waking at 3am unable to get back to sleep, mind racing with no resolution
Rest feels impossible because you can't turn off
You feel detached from things that used to matter deeply to you
Small tasks feel overwhelming in a way that's out of proportion
You're functioning, but barely, and it's taking everything you have
You can't imagine that time off will actually make a difference
You're snapping at people constantly and can't seem to stop
You've lost the ability to see the load clearly—it all feels equally urgent and impossible
What helps? This is intervention territory. You need more than strategic underperformance. You likely need professional support—therapy, medical care, coaching that specifically addresses nervous system regulation. You need to understand that recovery will take months, not days.
The physical symptoms of being past the warning zone include: frequent headaches, digestive issues, getting sick often, unexplained aches and pains, racing heart that won't settle, chest tightness.
The emotional symptoms: irritability you can't control, emotional numbness or crying easily, feelings of hopelessness or dread, anxiety that won't settle, inability to feel joy even in moments that would usually be joyful.
The cognitive symptoms: difficulty concentrating on anything, forgetting things constantly, inability to make even small decisions, mind racing at night with no resolution, feeling mentally foggy or slow.
The behavioral symptoms: withdrawing from activities and people you used to enjoy, increased reliance on alcohol or food to cope, procrastinating on everything, neglecting basic self-care.
If you're experiencing several of these, you're not just tired. You're burned out. And the strategies that work in the warning zone won't be enough.
What You Actually Need (And Why January Won't Give It to You)
Here's what I want you to understand: I intervened at the warning zone, and my 60% week worked. My nervous system responded. The strategic changes were enough.
But if you're reading this past that point—if you've been ignoring signals for months, if your symptoms are severe, if you genuinely can't imagine that rest will help—you need something different.
If you're in the warning zone:
Do what I did. Dial back strategically. Release the perfectionism layer immediately—not in January, now. Protect sleep fiercely. Say no without explanation. Get support where you can (outsourcing, asking for help, leaning on your people).
Strategic capacity management can still work if you catch it early enough.
If you're past the warning zone:
Understand that this isn't something a holiday break will fix. This is physiological. Your nervous system has been dysregulated for so long that it needs active repair, not just rest.
This might mean:
Professional support: Therapy that works with trauma and nervous system regulation (somatic therapy, EMDR, polyvagal-informed approaches). Medical care if your symptoms are severe. Coaching that understands burnout recovery.
Extended timeline: Recovery from actual burnout takes 3-6 months of sustained change, not a week off. You need to adjust your expectations about how long this will take.
Structural life changes: You can't recover from burnout while maintaining the systems that created it. Something fundamental needs to change about how you're operating—workload, boundaries, support systems, expectations.
Releasing the myth that willpower is enough: You can't think your way out of nervous system dysregulation. Your body needs to learn that safety is available again, and that's not a cognitive process.
Here's what I wish more women understood: waiting until January to address burnout means you're losing precious months of your life to something that only gets harder to fix the longer you ignore it.
The Permission You Need Right Now
You're not weak. You're not incapable. You're not failing at something everyone else is managing better.
You're experiencing a real physiological condition that deserves real intervention. And the sooner you acknowledge that, the sooner you can actually recover.
What I'm Asking You to Do
If you're in the warning zone: Don't wait until you're past it. Intervene now. Do less. Release the performance layer. Protect your capacity. The load is genuinely high—don't add burnout on top of it.
If you're past the warning zone: Please stop telling yourself you just need to make it to January. You need intervention, not a holiday break. Get professional support. Acknowledge this is serious. Give yourself the timeline recovery actually requires.
If you're not sure where you are: Err on the side of treating it seriously. The cost of over-responding (getting support you didn't strictly need) is minimal. The cost of under-responding (developing full burnout when early intervention could have prevented it) is enormous.
Your body is trying to tell you something. The 3am wake-ups, the racing heart, the symptoms you've been minimizing—they're information, not inconvenience. The only question is: are you ready to listen?
Because all you want for Christmas is rest. Real rest. The kind that your body actually needs, not the kind that fits neatly into a holiday break. And the best gift you can give yourself? Acknowledging where you actually are and responding accordingly.
Not in January. Now.
#thrivewiththewellco