The calendar has flicked over to a new page, the last of the Christmas food is long gone and 2025 is now officially well underway. How are you feeling so far, friends?
There's something both exciting and daunting about fresh starts, isn't there? Whether you're stepping into a new year or turning the page to a new chapter in your life, that familiar mix of hope and hesitation can bubble up to the surface. As someone who has navigated many new beginnings, such as going to university (twice), moving around the world, motherhood (also twice!) … I've learned that the key to a fresh start isn't in a perfect execution – it's in approaching it with curiosity, optimism and a healthy dose of self-compassion too. Curiosity helps you to explore, discover and find your feet in fresh or foreign territory. Optimism is a necessary ingredient to hold onto hope that things will work out well (otherwise really - what’s the point?!). But self-compassion was the missing ingredient I needed to make the most of big moves and new moments in my life, and it’s taken me years to understand it’s importance in embracing new seasons and practice relating to myself in a calmer, kinder way.
The Science of Self-COMPASSION
Research consistently shows that self-compassion isn't just feel-good advice – it's a powerful tool for raising your wellbeing. A fascinating study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that people who practice self-compassion experience lower levels of anxiety and depression, and show greater emotional resilience. Think of it as being as kind to yourself as you would be to a dear friend who's trying their best. When you’re entering a new phase of life, it can be challenging to navigate new territory and THIS is where self-compassion shines and can help you the most.
Common Pitfalls Along the Path
We've all been there – setting ambitious goals only to feel discouraged and turn on ourselves when things don't go exactly as planned. Maybe you promised yourself you'd meditate every morning, only to hit snooze three days in a row. Or perhaps you've caught yourself falling into the comparison trap, scrolling through social media and wondering why everyone else seems to be healthier, happier or more handsome and generally has it all figured out already.
The truth? Those picture-perfect journeys we imagine rarely match reality. And guess what - that's perfectly okay! In fact, it's in those "imperfect" moments that we often find our greatest opportunities for growth and self-discovery and this is where we can bring in some simple but powerful self-compassion practices.
Cultivating Self-Compassion: KINDNESS IN ACTION
Let me share some smart and simple strategies that have made a real difference in my own journey of self-compassion as I start something new:
Mindful Check-Ins: Take a moment each day to place a hand on your heart and simply breathe. Research from Harvard Medical School suggests that this simple touch like this can trigger the release of oxytocin, our body's "comfort hormone."
The Three-Breath Self-compassion Reset: When you notice critical thoughts arising and you’re being critical towards yourself, simply pause and take three deep breaths as follows.
1. On the first breath, acknowledge how you're feeling.
2. On the second, remind yourself that struggling is part of being human. We all go through it.
3. On the third, ask yourself what you need in this moment.
This short and sweet reset is a great way to break a negative or self-critical cycle and disrupt the unhelpful thoughts and feelings with something more soothing instead.
Create a Self-Compassion Mantra: Examples include "This moment is enough, and I am enough." “I am not alone” or my personal favourite if I’m struggling: “This too shall pass”. Find words that resonate with you and return to them when you need a gentle reminder.
The Power of MINDFUL MOMENTS TO START OVER
One of the most beautiful aspects of mindfulness is that it invites us to step out of our harsh self-judgment and into the simple truth of the present moment. Each breath is an opportunity to begin again, to choose self-kindness over criticism. Use your mindfulness practice to bring back some balance and calm in times where you feel a little lost, overwhelmed or out of sorts in some way.
A gentle reminder: The next time you find yourself thinking “I’ve already failed / screwed up / given up” or "I should be further along by now" or "I'm not doing enough," please pause. Take a breath. Remember that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment of your journey. Your path is uniquely yours, and it's unfolding exactly as it should. Begin again with each breath.
Your Call to Action
As you move forward into this month and this year, I invite you to become a gentle observer of your own experience. Notice when you're slipping into self-criticism or rigid expectations of yourself. When you catch yourself in these moments, try this: Place a hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and whisper to yourself, "I'm exactly where I need to be."
Remember, self-compassion isn't a destination – it's a soothing, supportive practice. Each moment offers a fresh opportunity to choose kindness toward yourself, again and again. And in doing so, you're not just changing your own experience; you're rewiring your brain to operate more kindly and contributing to a more compassionate world, one gentle moment at a time.
Remember each breath and every day is a chance to reset and begin again.
What small act of self-kindness will you offer yourself as you do?