It’s that time of year where store shelves overflow with heart-shaped chocolates, someone scurries past you on their inner-city lunch break clutching an overpriced oversized bunch of roses, where love meets marketing and romance comes with a price tag. Some years I ignore it, others I embrace it. This year, I find myself reflecting on what love truly means in our fast-paced world and how we can embrace more connection to ourselves and each other.
Just yesterday at a busy local cafe, I noticed an elderly couple holding hands at the table. It was a quiet reminder that love isn’t found in grand gestures, but in the small, mindful moments we share with each other. In a world that often glorifies more, bigger, better, what if love is simply about being together? Below I share some science, insights, heart-opening and connection-building strategies for whatever your relationship status and invite you to join my glorious free 7-day Feel The Love Challenge too!
The science of love 🧠
Connection and building better relationships is at the heart of what I teach as a Happiness Scientist and Mindfulness Teacher. A Harvard study found that couples who practice mindfulness together report 58% higher relationship satisfaction—and for good reason. Mindfulness enhances our ability to be fully present, reducing emotional reactivity and fostering deeper empathy, which is essential for understanding and supporting our partners. When we are truly present, our bodies naturally release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” which strengthens bonds, promotes trust, and lowers stress levels.
But the benefits of mindful love extend beyond romantic relationships. Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on human happiness, reveals that strong, connected relationships are the single biggest predictor of long-term health and wellbeing—even more than genetics, career success, or wealth. Close relationships act as a buffer against stress, improve mental resilience, and even contribute to a longer lifespan by reducing the risk of chronic illnesses like heart disease and depression.
Presence is the simplest yet most profound way we can show love. In a world filled with distractions, offering someone your full attention—whether it’s a partner, friend, or even yourself—is a radical act of care. When we slow down and connect mindfully, we create the conditions for deeper intimacy, trust, and emotional security, nurturing relationships that sustain us on every level—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The Art of Mindful Love
Whether you’re single, dating, or celebrating decades with a partner, February invites us to deepen our relationship with love itself. Research shows that mindful relationships not only increase happiness but also strengthen our immune system and even lengthen our lifespan. Presence, it turns out, is powerful medicine.
So this Valentine’s season, let’s shift the focus from commercial expressions of love to authentic connections that nurture our hearts and souls.
Something for everyone: Valentine’s practices for every relationship status:
💖 For solo celebrations:
• Create a self-love ceremony with candles and your favorite music
• Plan a mindful solo date—perhaps a nature walk or an art class
• Write yourself a love note and tuck it away to read next year
💑 For partnerships:
• Try a silent dinner—connecting through eye contact and nonverbal communication
• Schedule a weekly presence check-in to share how you’re feeling
• Start a gratitude jar—each week, write one thing you love about each other and read them together later
👫 For friends & family:
• Host a mindful gathering with phone-free conversations
• Start a “love and appreciation” group chat
• Create a Galentine’s event with your girls
• Surprise someone with an unexpected act of kindness
Looking for more? Here’s my 7-Day Feel The Love Challenge 💕
Because love isn’t just found in grand gestures—it’s in the small, everyday moments of presence, kindness, and connection. Ready to feel more love in your life? Let’s do this!
💖 Day 1: Love Starts With You (No, Really!)
Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation for all love.
Kick things off with a 5-minute self-love meditation (because science says it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside). Then, write down 3 things you appreciate about yourself. Bonus points for saying them out loud to your reflection—awkward, but powerful, I promise!
✨ Why? Because the way you love yourself sets the tone for how others love you.
📵 Day 2: Swipe left on distraction, right on real life
Put down the phone, step away from the inbox, and give yourself the gift of a one-hour digital detox. Fill the time with journaling, movement, or just staring at the clouds.
✨ Why? Because constant scrolling disconnects you from the present—and love lives in the present moment.
🎙 Day 3: Ask this one question and watch the magic happen
Want to instantly deepen your connections? Next time you talk to a loved one, ask: “What made you smile today?” Then, actually listen—no multitasking allowed!
✨ Why? Because real listening is a love language, and people feel most loved when they feel truly heard.
💌 Day 4: Write a love letter (to yourself!)
I first started doing this exercise in my workshops back in 2013. It is so good, I still recommend it over a decade later! Grab a pen and paper or open a blank doc and write a letter to your future self, celebrating who you are and who you’re becoming. Read it aloud if you’re feeling bold. Seal it up and set a reminder (or schedule send it via email) and revisit it in six months time. I’ve done this a few times now and it’s been so powerful!
✨ Why? Because the way you talk to yourself shapes your entire love story. Make it a good one.
💞 Day 5: The three-breath connection hack
Before your next conversation with a partner, friend, or family member, take three deep breaths together. Feel the shift from ‘busy mode’ to ‘connected mode.’
✨ Why? Because science says syncing your breath strengthens bonds and calms your nervous system (aka, fewer misunderstandings, more love).
📝 Day 6: The gratitude letter that changes everything
Think of someone who has impacted your life in a meaningful way. Write them a heartfelt note of appreciation—and, if possible, read it to them out loud. Prepare for unexpected happy tears.
✨ Why? Because expressing gratitude doesn’t just make others feel loved—it boosts your own happiness and deepens your relationships.
🚶♀️ Day 7: The Love Walk
Take a mindful walk with someone you care about (or yourself!). Share three things you notice in your surroundings, three things you’re grateful for, and three things you love about each other (or yourself).
✨ Why? Because movement, presence, and appreciation are a triple threat for feeling deeply connected and alive.
Fill your love cup right up 💕
In just seven days, you’ve cultivated more self-love, deepened connections, and practiced being present in your relationships. Love isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about showing up with your full heart, every day.
💌 Want more? Share your journey with #FeeltheLove2025 and tag @thewellco—I’d love to hear about your favorite moments! Remember this: the most beautiful love stories aren’t written in grand gestures, but in quiet moments of presence. This Valentine’s season, let’s choose love—not as a fleeting emotion, but as a daily practice of being fully here, with ourselves and those who matter most. 💝 Let’s make love a daily practice!
#ValentinesMindfulness #MindfulLove #ConsciousRelationships #SelfLove #MindfulDating #RelationshipTips #ValentinesDay2025 #LoveAndPresence #thrivewiththewellco