This week I returned from a dreamy Singapore getaway. My shoulders dropped away from my ears as I wandered through Gardens by the Bay. Time slowed to a delicious crawl as I sipped kopi in a local hawker center. I remembered what it feels like to breathe all the way to the bottom of my lungs while watching the sunset from Marina Bay.
After a late night return and a few short hours of sleep, Tuesday morning and diving back into reality hit my nervous system like a freight train!
My inbox was overflowing with "urgent" messages (despite my out of office working hard to volley requests right back). My calendar, which had blissfully contained nothing but "explore Chinatown" and "afternoon swim," was a tetris of meetings, deadlines, drop-offs, pick-ups and parent’s evenings. The group chat was pinging with school activities and social commitments and family logistics needed my immediate attention.
And just like that, I physically feel that special vacay spaciousness beginning to evaporate, replaced by an all-too-familiar tightness of chest and shoulders.
I paused when I realised what was happening. Because this moment—this transition—is actually a powerful opportunity. Right now, my body and mind remember what's possible. My nervous system has had a reset of regulation and ease. The contrast between holiday me and everyday-me has never been clearer. So I know I need to protect my peace.
Finding Calm in Smaller Moments
The beautiful truth here is you don't need to fly halfway across the world to reclaim that sense of bliss and peace. The same opportunity exists after a deeply restorative yoga class, when your body feels both energised and relaxed. It's there after a precious day off spent exactly as you please. It lingers after a weekend of genuine rest and deep connection with others.
Each of these experiences, whether grand adventures or tiny pockets of joy, reveals what your system is capable of feeling. Each one is a window into your natural state of calm that's always there, just beneath the layers of to-do lists and responsibilities.
The calm you cultivated during these pockets of restoration - whether that’s a Sunday evening bath or finishing a good book - can evaporate minutes after you reemerge—unless you give the transition itself some attention. Spending five minutes after your bath writing down three intentions for preserving that feeling into Monday morning (i.e. "I'll take three full breaths before responding to emails") can build a bridge between your bath-calm and your weekly workday focus.
What if instead of seeing these peaceful moments as temporary escapes, you viewed them as practice sessions for your everyday life? What if each yoga class, each day off, each relaxing cup of tea was teaching you something about the rhythm your body and mind naturally crave? It makes sense to transition gently and mindfully into your comitments that follow with the clarity and ease you’ve been cultivating.
Boundaries: Your Peace's Best Friend
Boundaries aren't walls. They're not about shutting people out – they're clear definitions of what's okay and what's not okay for you. They're the gentle but firm lines that protect your energy, your time, and your emotional wellbeing. That’s right, you need to consciously protect your peace because there’s too many opportunistic thieves out there eagerly waiting to take it. Boundaries help guide and define what that looks and feels like for you.
Physical boundaries define your personal space and privacy. Emotional boundaries protect your right to your own feelings without taking on others'. Time boundaries honour your right to prioritise how your precious hours are spent.
… Why We Struggle with Setting BOUNDARIES
If setting boundaries feels scary and uncomfortable, you're not alone. I’ve been/ am still on a whole journey with this one! Many of us were raised to be "nice," which was often code for "put others first, always." Women especially are socialised to be caregivers, peacemakers, and accommodators. This makes it even harder to draw a line or say no.
Then there's the fear – fear of disappointing others, fear of conflict, fear of not being liked. Beneath that often lies a deeper question: "Am I worthy of having needs?"
What I’ve come to realise with boundaries is the discomfort of setting them is temporary; the benefits are long-lasting.
Preserving Your Peaceful Feeling
Fresh from your holiday, yoga class, weekend away or whatever it is that soothes you, you have a golden opportunity to use. Your nervous system remembers what regulation feels like. Your mind recalls what spaciousness offers. Instead of sliding back into old patterns, this is your chance to establish gentle new boundaries:
Create buffer zones between activities in your calendar – no more back-to-back commitments
Set an email autoresponder for one more week: "I'm processing emails in batches at 10am and 3pm"
Schedule short "peace-reclaiming" breaks – five minutes to step outside and breathe deeply
Decline non-essential meetings for your first week back
Your peace matters enough for clear boundaries. Sometimes it's a gentle "I'd love to help, but my plate is full right now." Other times it's silencing notifications after 8pm. Your needs aren't an afterthought – they're the foundation everything else stands on.
The Art of the Sacred No
When your colleague asked if you could "just quickly" take on that extra project last month, something in you knew it would be the straw that broke your well-organised camel's back. Yet somehow "yes" slipped out before you could catch it.
Remember that your "no" is a complete sentence, wrapped in kindness but unapologetic in its boundary. Practice it in the mirror if needed: "I wish I could help, but I need to protect my current commitments." The right people will respect this. The wrong ones were never respecting your peace anyway.
Maintaining Your Peaceful Rhythm
That slower pace you know and enjoy doesn't have to disappear completely. Consider:
Which practices bring you the most peace? Reading with morning coffee? Evening walks? Journaling before bed? Choose one to maintain daily.
Create a sensory anchor – perhaps a scented candle that reminds you of your time away, or play the music from your yoga class. I brought a box of incense from a temple home with me and each time I light a stick I calmly drift back there! These sensory cues can help your body remember a previous peaceful state.
Set a "rush alarm" on your phone – when it goes off three times daily, take three deep breaths and check: Are you physically rushing? Is it necessary? Can you let go of something non-urgent right now?
Establish transition rituals between work and home – perhaps a quick meditation in your car or changing clothes immediately – to signal to your nervous system that you're safely shifting gears now.
Create Pockets of Stillness
Between school dropoffs and gym classes, I’ve found five minutes of silence before entering the house or my office can be a wonderful reset button. No radio, no calls, just breathing and remembering who I am beyond my roles and responsibilities.
Where might your pocket of stillness be hiding? Perhaps it's a morning cup of tea before everyone wakes, a lunchtime walk without your phone, or evening stretches while the bath fills. These moments aren't luxuries – they're lifelines that return you to calm and clarity.
Curate Your Energy Exchanges
Think of your friend who somehow always leaves you feeling drained, criticised or slightly less-than. Now think of the one who makes you feel seen, accepted, and energised.
The difference here is one relationship protects your peace; the other quietly erodes it.
You don't need dramatic confrontations, just thoughtful choices about where your precious energy flows. Schedule more coffee dates with those who replenish you. Keep interactions brief and boundaries in place with those who don't. You can be kind to yourself and others around you whilst protecting your peace.
Create a Peace-Protecting Home Environment
We have a large kitchen bench in the centre of our home and it quite regularly becomes a chaotic dumping ground for everything and anything that enters our house. Being greeted by that clutter and mess after a long day can instantly spike my stress levels. To overcome this we have simplified - one basket for each family member's belongings. A box waiting to be filled with items to give away. Soft lighting instead of harsh overheads, a soothing scented candle.
Your surroundings whisper messages to your nervous system all day long. What are yours saying? Even one peaceful corner can become a visual anchor when life gets stormy.
The Pause That Preserves
The space between stimulus and response is where your peace lives. Remember when your partner made that comment that instantly lit your fuse? What if instead of the immediate reactive response, you had taken three deep breaths first? You can cultivate peace anywhere, anytime with simple pause practices – a hand on your heart, counting to ten, or simply saying "let me think about that." Create space and take a moment to centre yourself.
Release the Grip of Perfectionism
The school easter fair doesn't need Pinterest-worthy cupcakes. The presentation doesn't require an all-nighter. Your home doesn't need to look like a magazine spread. Your outfit doesn’t need to be exactly on trend.
When you let go of the pressure to be perfect you will discover something surprising: genuine connection flourishes in the space where perfectionism fades. It’s liberating to be more relaxed in your approach to the everyday!
Remember What Actually Matters
At the end of life, no one wishes they'd answered more emails or kept a cleaner house. They wish for more moments of connection, love, and simple joy.
Your peace is protected when your priorities are clear. So write them down. Look at them daily. Let them guide your yes and no, your time and attention.
Protecting your peace isn't selfish – it's how you become your best self for everyone who matters in your life. It's how you model healthy boundaries for your children, partnership for your spouse, and self-respect for your friends. In a world that profits from your overwhelm, finding pockets of calm and protecting your peace actually becomes a quiet revolution – one deep breath, one boundary and one mindful choice at a time.